End of Absentia

Hello all,

I guess I'm back. I mean, I am back, but the question of whether I shall remain back has yet to be answered. I suppose we'll all find out together.

The good news is that the surgery discussed in the previous post (I will end up getting to the Coming Soon section, but not now) went very well. It turns out that, in addition to the bone spurs, one of the screws from my ankle allograft in 2010 was loose, so that was taken out during surgery as well (I told him that another doctor said it might be loose, "I've known for years that I've had screws loose, but this is the first I've heard about the one in my ankle"). That was early November. It's been healing up very well, the pain is down and the flare ups of pain have become much less frequent. I'd call that a success. It has been good enough that I did a lot of walking on our family vacation to Oahu this last week (by the way, we went to Oahu), although my ankles weren't particularly pleased and I did spend some time in a wheelchair because of how painful and swollen the ankles were getting (see right: wearing a tight ankle brace does not really mesh well with very swollen ankles/legs). I'm planning on sitting and icing my ankles for the next couple days, that way my ankles return to normal as soon as possible.

After the surgery, I started to feel like I was returning to the mental state that had plagued me at almost the exact same time a year ago. It felt like my mind was beginning to slip again, and fear of pushing myself too hard and taking on too much led me to pull away from the world and try to keep my stress and anxiety levels as low as I could to avoid having another total nervous break. I'm hoping that I'm more stable now, and that this three-month hiatus can be broken without too much worry that I'm overreaching. It really bothers me, I feel like more of an invalid than I ever did with the physical problems, having my definition of "overreaching" be talking to people, writing, and taking a couple classes to finish up community college (which also bothers the intellectual in me, but after two failed attempts at UC schools due to bone collapses, I just don't want to go through the hassle for a third time until I'm in a much better physical, mental, and emotional state). But I've learned over the years that I can't compare myself to anyone else, or, at least, I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else, which is nearly impossible I'd like to add. It's a hard lesson, harder still to live by, but I'm doing my damnedest to follow it and take care of myself to the best of my ability, even if it feels a lot like failing (I just need to ignore that, it's hard, but I'm trying).

Inspirational metaphor goes here

Despite all this, I've been able to take some measure of comfort and hope from my memoir (Life Has No Title). A few weeks after my surgery, I decided that I'd spent enough time trying to save money by chopping bits out and sent it off to the editor. Soon, I hope to have it back so I can take a look at the notes and start with the finishing touches to have the writing and editing portion of this project complete. Then I'll be able to turn my focus toward marketing and networking, which is something I'm a bit antsy about, but at least I have faith that the memoir can do a lot of good and it's my hope that knowledge will help get me through potential rough spots that might come up in the final stages of completion. It also helps a great deal that the editor has already somewhat eased the anxiety about how good my book actually is by being kind enough to let me know that she likes the voice and the content and thinks it could be helpful to others. The narrative tone was my biggest worry about the writing aspect of the book, so that's a bit of a load off my mind. I'm really looking forward to reading her notes and starting work again on this project. I've been doing some writing in the interim, although more dabbling than anything else.

I think that's a good-sized post for now. I'm getting weird vertigo while looking at the screen, so I'm thinking this is a good stoping point. Hope all y'all had a good (insert preferred winter-related holiday here) and will have great 2016s.

~Andrew

Three Weeks of Updates (Left Shoulder Surgery Recovery)

Hi blog,

Finally time for the update! Since I'm still having a bit of a hard time typing, I'm going to give you updates as I've been giving them to friends of mine since the surgery.

10/28
The surgery went really well. It took half as long as the right shoulder did last time. I had a nerve block so I'm not in any pain and hopefully I'll be able to go home in the morning! Typing is a bit of an annoyance cause I've only got one arm, the left arm is immobilized by my uber sling and I can't really feel anything in that arm anyways. I don't need painkillers that much because the nerve block means I don't feel anything. All in all, things are looking great and I'm guessing recovery is going to come along nicely!

11/1
I got home yesterday, I had to stay in the hospital a couple extra days because the pain got really bad and I couldn't leave until it was better controlled. The nurses and doctors didn't really help much with the pain because they didn't listen when I told them I have a very high tolerance for pain medication, so I kept getting doses for normal people, which did very little to actually control my pain. I got through it though and got out of the hospital. It's manageable now so I'm resting at home and able to do a little bit already. The doctor says everything looks really promising so far. It might even heal better and faster than the right shoulder, so it's all going well so far. 

11/4
I've started doing at home PT which is going well. The range of motion is decent and it actually doesn't hurt too much to do the exercises as long as I keep it calmish. The therapist I'm seeing says that it's definitely better than the right one was at this stage and was impressed at how much better it was. I'm seeing the therapist again tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. Other than that I've just been taking it easy to ensure I don't push myself too much and worsen my recovery. I'm trying not to let the boredom of being safe with my health annoy me too much. I'd been having some fevers and shaking on and off at night, but it's gone down and hasn't happened in a couple days.

11/5

I saw the doctor for my one week post-op appointment and they took the bandage off my surgery site before I saw him. It's looking very clean and hardly at all swollen. There's a thin scar but it doesn't look red or angry, which was a nice surprise. The bandage was left off so now it's completely uncovered, which burns a little to the touch but is otherwise fine. I had some x-rays done and the doctor says it's looking good so far. He also checked my range of motion and was pleased, even said that he fully expects the left one to heal up faster and better than the right one. All in all, the doctor thinks everything is coming along nicely and I'll be seeing him again in six weeks.

11/13
The nurse who comes to the house says the scar is looking really good, no infection or anything. PT is still going well, I started doing shoulder shrugs and my arm is getting better range of motion, although it's definitely painful. Part of that pain is coming from the lack of painkillers, the person who wrote the original prescription did it differently than I'd been taking it so I've been forced to ration my painkillers in order to have any at all, waiting to get more all week but tomorrow I'll get new ones. It's been difficult and has caused more pain, but I didn't really have an option. I tried calling the woman who prescribed them but she never called me back so I just rationed them and dealt with the extra pain. This sort of thing isn't too uncommon, problems with medication or hospitals or health stuff in general always seem to follow me around, you just deal with it best you can. An increase in my pain for a week I can deal with, I've held out this long, I can wait another day. Still, would have been nice if this hadn't happened at all. 

11/16
Got my painkillers so everything is good now. PT still going well, added in a couple more exercises. The pain has increased a little bit and I'm not sure why. I've had a couple nights in a row where I've woken up repeatedly with sharp pain assaulting my shoulder, I think it might be the way my arm is positioned so I'm going to try to change it a little and see if that helps (note: it did, although I only slept 3 hours last night I didn't wake up due to pain). I'm starting to get back into school and normal stuff instead of just sitting around and relaxing and making sure I don't overdo things. I'm still not back to my normal routine, that will take a while since I'm supposed to wear the sling for another three weeks at least, but I can at least start to catch up on stuff that I missed and work on keeping my grades intact as best I can. 

And that sums up the last three weeks of my recovery. I will do my best to keep regular updates from here on out, although I will be very busy with school because I have two classes to catch up on. I will do my upmost to keep you and all the readers apprised of my health and any updates as they come up. 

Memoir-able (Recovery Part 4)

Howdy blog,

Well there's a couple exciting bits of news I wanted to share.

The first pertains to the recovery of my shoulder. I am now 10 weeks post-op. When I saw the doctor yesterday he continued to be impressed and amazed at how much range my shoulder has. He told me (again) how tight it used to be and that I have the range of motion that I do is just astonishing. It's actually better than the left shoulder now in some regards. There's increased pain in the right shoulder since I've started doing outpatient physical therapy, but that is normal for an operation and should subside soon as long as I make sure to rest it. I have to keep reminding myself of Zen #3: The faster you hurry, the slower you go. You'd think I would have that one deeply ingrained in my recovery process after so many surgeries, but I'm impatient and this surgery has been unlike the others in both its recovery and my abilities post-surgery. It'll be about a year before the right shoulder is fully healed if things continue on the way they have been, but progress will be semi-continuous throughout so it's a promising bit of news.

The other thing discussed during my doctor's visit was the left shoulder. As some of you may or may not know, the left shoulder was nearly identically damaged to the right one, and it was only through the arbitrary filter of how much each one hurt that the right shoulder was chosen as the first to be replaced. The left shoulder is now beginning to ache more, so after I see my doctor in two months, I will likely be having another surgery shortly afterwards. I'm more excited about this than I am any other emotion. With any luck, it will be my last surgery for a while (although I said that last year after my left knee replacement so...I'm cautiously optimistic) and then I can start focusing more on everything that comes after. It'll be nice not to have to think about when I'll be cutting out my bone and replacing it next, maybe I can better focus on writing and other life events after that's dealt with.

Speaking of writing, we move onto my second (I'm including the last two paragraphs as one big semi-related news item) bit of news. I've been working on a memoir detailing my life (briefly described at the end of The Cancer and the Cure) and specifically all the crap with cancer and dealing with the side effects of treatment after the fact. For 16 months I've been doing on and off work with Nick regarding our memoirs, and after all that time...I have finished the rough draft! It's a huge deal for me, because this isn't the first intonation of this book. I tried writing it half a dozen times before and each time wound up abusing drugs or having a mental breakdown from the stress of recalling all of the traumatic experiences in my life. It took an enormous amount of mental and emotional energy to get it out there, and it wore me out to the point of exhaustion, but I finally got through the rough draft and proudly did so in one piece! (Not including all the extra pieces put into me by surgeons) I've been on a short break as school starts, but then Nick and I are going to be going into the editing process and making the books even better.

To celebrate the finishing of the rough draft, here's a small section conscripted from my book Life Has No Title. Until next time readers and blog.

Normally I encountered runners along the path, but today it was just myself and the little white dog. I looked at him, he pointedly ignored me as he usually did, and got an idea. Maybe there could be a runner. Me. I thought back to Nick, who had returned early in the summer and had been spending some time with me. There was a runner, someone who pushed his limits to insane measures and even further than that. If he could run a hundred mile race, why couldn’t I go on a short jog? He once drew inspiration from me as he made his way 3,000 miles, and now I could draw inspiration from him as I ran…a lot less than that.

“Come on Tucker! Giddy-up!” I put one foot in front of the other, picking up speed slowly but surely. The dog started to trot alongside me as I increased my pace but suddenly stopped and nearly dragged me off my feet after just a few seconds. “Okay, fine. We’ll take it slow you little prick.” I started again, making sure to stick to a light jogging pace. Every slap of my foot against the uneven surface sent a strange jarring sensation up my leg. It felt…good. I kept it up, sometimes going a bit quicker, but would soon be dragged back by a resistant dog. After about ninety seconds I gave up trying to pull the little ass along with me and settled back down to a walking pace. “Well that was fun,” I said to myself. Tucker sniffed at a bush.

I wasn’t content with such a paltry result though. During that jog I felt as though I had untapped energy that I could have unleashed had I not had a leashed mutt at my side. I would have to try again.

That’s exactly what I did too. My mom and I were walking the dog this time, so I didn’t have to hold the leash. As we walked, I told her about my jogging experience a few days before and she seemed impressed. “I think I could do better though,” I said, channeling my inner Nick. “Watch this.”

If she protested, I didn’t hear her, because I was off without another word. Uncertain of how fast to go to start with, and not even sure if I remembered how to run properly after five years, I could hear Nick whispering in my ear. “Open it up Bundy!” I’m pretty sure he’s never said that to me in my life, but that’s what I did. I sped away at full-blast and nearly lost my footing in the surprise at how quickly I was going. For a few precarious steps, I was running to avoid faceplanting, but I caught up with myself and sprinted away. I could feel the years melting away as everything around me became irrelevant. None of the pain to remind me of surgery after surgery, none of the aches to remind me of the atrophied muscles and hospital stays. None of the mental anguish harassing me those last couple months as I further slipped into becoming an anxious wreck. It was just me and the path. Everything else was in another world.

The wind rushed by, my legs pounding into hard earth, and on and on I ran, laughing silently and grinning ear to ear by the time I came to a halt as my burning legs asked politely to quit. Besides, I was almost out of bridle path and I would have to make the trek back to my mom. I honestly felt as though I could keep going if I wanted to, the rush was exquisite! I felt, for the first time in years, like a normal human being. It was such an alien feeling I wasn’t sure what to do with it. At least now I knew that my body wasn’t totally trashed, and I knew Nick would be pretty pleased when I told him about this the next time I saw him.

Your one and a half armed overlord,
Andrew

The Right Angle (Recovery Part 3)

Hey blog,

Wasn't all that Top Ten Zen stuff pretty cool? It was a lot of work but I definitely would agree that it was very much worth it to be able to reach out to so many people and offer insight and guidance. It was also pretty cool to be able to look at each quote from a different angle by having Nick co-author those posts with me. Maybe we'll do something like that again in the future, I wouldn't mind another collaborative project with the ultrarunning Zen master.

Step 4 in happy dance shows off my range of motion

I do apologize though, because although I did assist in dropping Zen knowledge upon thy head, I haven't given an update into my recovery in over three weeks now and should probably remedy that. As you may remember from part 2 of the recovery posts, my doctor was pleasantly surprised at the progress I'd made in the range of motion of my shoulder, which had already surpassed his one-year prediction in less than a month. Now I am in my eighth week of recovery (haven't seen the doctor yet, that's next week) and have moved from being in a sling to being out of a sling with active assistance (being able to move my arm with assistance from my left hand) to finally being allowed unrestricted movement! (Insert happy dance here.) I've been out of the sling for two weeks now and it feels good to have a semi-normal shoulder again. In some respects, it's better than my left one (which also has damage and will require surgery soonish), although still a bit sore. After all, I've been using it more and more and as such will run into a bit more pain for a while before it calms down. However, the range of motion is quite a deal higher than it was before the surgery, and indeed better than it has been in several years. The forward flexion (holding my arm straight ahead and raising it up) is all the way up to a whopping 125 degrees! The abduction (holding my arm straight out to the side and raising it up) is up to 110 degrees! Now, I should note that both of these numbers are a product of active assist and not unrestricted movement, but it is reassuring to know that I have the potential to reach these numbers as I continue to build up strength without the help of my "better" arm.

The rest of my happy dance, as reenacted by bear cubs

I'm sure I'll have some more updates available after I see my doctor in a couple weeks, although I might have something sooner because I just started back up with outpatient physical therapy. I had an initial assessment a couple days ago and so far so good. The biggest issue at the moment seems to be the pain, but that's just pain, not anything major problem, so I can handle that.

Summer's coming to a close. It's felt long and short, with lots of ups and downs to accompany it. Overall things went well: I fixed my right shoulder, both my brothers were around for a while (Chad left yesterday), I didn't get much writing done but am starting back up, I completed a ten-part blog series and kept to the timeline the entire time, and I managed to write a short story. All in all, I think I'm pleased with how it all went. Now I need to prepare for school and make sure I stick to a productive output for my book as I march slowly toward the next, and hopefully last (for a while anyways), surgery on my left shoulder. That one will round out the set: eight major joints replaced. With any luck, I won't have to worry too much about major surgeries until the first replacements begin to wear off in a few years. By then, I hope to establish some kind of normalcy in my life. Then again...what is normal anyway?

Comet 67P from 177 miles away

Before I get into the rest of my personal update (and a very touching part of this post for me), I wanted to share a very cool piece of news. For those of you who know me, you know I like space. It honestly confounds me that not everyone is totally enamored with it, but that's just how it is. However...I would like to quickly share a HUGE accomplishment that took place earlier this week that deserves mention. If you don't already know about the Rosetta mission, then here is a quick summary. Ten years ago Rosetta was launched to rendezvous with a comet named 67P (for short, the full name is a bit wordy) and enter into orbit around this 2.5 mile wide body careening through space. No other craft has ever accomplished this feat before. As of yesterday, August 6th 2014, and after a nearly four BILLION mile journey, Rosetta successfully entered into orbit around comet 67P and has made history!! But merely entering into orbit wasn't enough, because in November of this year, Rosetta will drop down the Philae lander, which will be the first craft to ever land on a comet. The pictures will be...well, I'm excited, let's put it that way. It's a monumental accomplishment and I am very much looking forward to seeing what kind of discoveries about comets and about our early solar system drop out of this truly special mission.

Relay for Life Luminaria

Back to the update. Now that Top Ten Zen is finished, I can get back to my writing. I had to put it on a temporary hiatus while Nick and I wrote our ten-part series as well as editing and formatting for our posts too. But it is done and the writing can recommence. I've not done as much as I wanted (although so far today, after meeting with Nick, I have managed over 4000 words), but it is always difficult to reinsert myself into the frame of mind of writing my memoir, because of the painful and difficult nature of writing non-fiction about yourself. Plus, I never really fully got back into writing Life Has No Title (my memoir) after the surgery. I had only done about 5,000 words when Nick and I began the Top Ten Zen project. For me, I've always found getting back into writing non-fiction a lot harder to start back up than fiction, which I adore and can pick up at almost any time with relative ease. It doesn't help that there are a lot of memory gaps in the long road of my treatments that I need to fill in by reading over old CaringBridge posts. Re-reading those is like taking a punch to the face with every paragraph. Nothing about this book is easy for me, but the potential benefits of raising awareness for post-cancer treatment and the state of mind of a cancer survivor (click on my About Me: Cancer and the Cure page to learn more) coupled with the (hopefully) cathartic nature of jotting all this down make this project essential for me to complete. In essence, I've given all of the shit I went through a purpose by writing this book and sharing my story. Whether it manages to shift people's perceptions of life after cancer and change policy and treatment methods and touch hundreds, thousands, or millions of people...or if all it does is help one person get through their cancer treatment, I know that I've done something good. Even if it's just one person it saves or makes their treatment just that little bit easier, I'll know that I did something good and worthwhile.

Your definitely not normal creator,
Andrew

Top Ten Zen #3: The Slower You Go

Howdy blog,

Well, time for part three! Shall we get on it then? Good answer.

Top Ten Zen

Andrew and Nick have compiled a list of Zen-like philosophies comprised firstly of a quote, an interpretation of said quote, and finally a story to drive their point home. This list can aid you in doing anything from completing a 100-mile race to surviving cancer, or obtaining any goal you set your mind to. 

Here are our previous posts for those who missed them:

1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
2. Body follows mind

The tortoise ascends

"The faster you hurry, the slower you go."

The Survivor’s Take: Patience is one of the most important factors when it comes to recovery. Pushing yourself too hard can make things worse, and what at first appears to be a big step forward might end up actually being several steps back.

The Runner’s Take: In endurance sports, it’s easy to get caught up in the competition and let things like nutrition and form fall to the wayside. Don’t let them. Even if it means sacrificing speed and position early on, staying relaxed and fueled leaves you in control of your race.

Survivor’s Tales: With my most recent surgery, a total replacement of my right shoulder, I quickly found myself impatient with the healing process. Compared with all the lower joint replacements, my recovery seemed to be going smoother and I felt better than I remember with the other surgeries. Within two weeks I was pushing myself to my limit, and admittedly a little beyond, with my exercises. In addition to that, I would sometimes take my arm out of its sling for extended periods of time, despite the doctor telling me to keep it in for at least six weeks. It didn’t take long for sharp pains to start cropping up in my shoulder. As a result of all this overreaching, I had hurt myself and was unable to do as much PT as I should have, causing my progress to regress. It took almost a full week for the pains to calm down enough to where I could start exercising properly again. Had I simply stuck to my recovery plan, I might have gotten to the point I am now even faster (click here to see my progress so far), but I’ve certainly learned my lesson: when it comes to recovery, it pays to stick to the plan instead of brushing it aside at the first glimmer of your strength returning. It may feel like you can do so much more, but very often it’s just a brief phase and soon you find yourself paying for your arrogance with sharp aches if you’re lucky, and serious damage if you aren’t.

Mountain Tales: It was the second to last climb of Ronda del Cims. 3,000 feet in just over two miles at an average grade of 45%, far steeper and more technical than any single climb at the Barkley marathons. I came into the aid station at the base of the climb right alongside Carles, a local Andorran runner who was holding 3rd place. He blew through the station and started hammering up the long climb. I glanced at my watch and realized it had been over an hour since I’d eaten anything. I hobbled slowly behind Carles as he pulled further away. I stuffed Gu after Gu down my throat and ate as many dry crackers as I could. Food was an awful chore, but a necessary evil. About halfway through, Carles was now 200 feet higher than me, but I knew he’d not eaten a thing. He’d burn out shortly. I swigged down more Carbo Pro and whipped out my hiking poles asking myself, “What can I relax?” I let go of my tense shoulders, let go of the tight tension in my arms and felt my upper body sink.  It’s terrifying what unconsciously tightens up while running. About three quarters of the way up the climb, I finally caught Carles.  He was breathing hard and his steps were labored on the steep ascent. The short seconds I’d taken to fuel my body were now paying off. I passed Carles and kept my pace steady all the way to the top of the climb. The faster you hurry (aka skip things like nutrition and proper form) the slower you’ll go. Endurance sports are the tortoise’s race, not the hare’s. Take care of yourself and you’ll be rewarded!

A mildly exaggerated recreation of how I hurt myself

Of course, just because we are sharing our own extreme examples does not mean that these philosophies are all strictly for extreme situations. We share these because they can be used by anyone in the proper situations and we invite you, dear reader, to take these helpful tips into the world to use as you see fit. Feel free to hoard them or share them with others around you. It is both of our hope that these do some good somewhere, and so we wish you luck in your journey of a thousand Zen-filled steps.

Andrew Bundy

Nick Hollon

Recovery Part 2 (With Gratuitous Dinosaur Fact)

Hi blog! 

Again, a small hiatus. This time with no real reason other than I have not been feeling too great, so I subsequently didn’t feel up to writing anything. Don’t worry, I’m not sick or anything, but I have been suffering through a particularly brutal bout of rabid insomnia for nearly two weeks now. I am not entirely sure why it has cropped up, but I do know that I haven’t gotten more than four hours of sleep in a single night since it began. It’s also taken a long time to actually get tired enough to fall asleep, so I’ve been falling asleep no sooner than 3 or 4 am, sometimes after 6 am when it’s particularly bad. This is not exactly new for me, I've had trouble sleeping for several years, although a couple years ago it got extremely bad (similar to the level it is now, but over a period of over a year. I have no idea how I functioned during that time to be honest), but eventually calmed down a bit. Still, I can't remember the last time I consistently got more than 6 hours of sleep. Anyways, this recent round of insomnia makes it somewhat hard to think, so this blog post probably won’t be the sort of stellar work you’re used to seeing written upon thy blank ephemeral body...or something.

Well, let’s get to the more important part of the post: my health. I saw my doctor on Monday (part of the reason for the delayed post), and after an ever-increasing amount of work with my at-home physical therapy, he was incredibly pleased with my progress. When I last saw him, he explained that when I was fully healed I would probably be looking at a little over 90 degrees in my range of motion in a couple directions due to the condition of the muscles over the last six years (they have been “stuck” in a very narrow range for quite some time, so stretching them back out would be a difficult, if not impossible task for me to achieve). However, the last measurement I had of my range of motion was 104 degrees when I raise my arm straight up, almost 15 degrees better than I was expected to have in over a year, and that happened in less than a month! Already I’m exceeding expectations set for me a year from now, and I’m exactly one month out from surgery. This astounded my doctor and, needless to say, pleased him greatly to see me overachieving like this (I'm also overachieving in my insomnia apparently). I’m actually doing so well that my right shoulder is now better than it was prior to the surgery and is getting close to matching my left shoulder (which was slightly better than the right before I had the surgery), and looks like it will soon surpass it. I've also been allowed to start weening myself off of my sling, so when I'm resting or just getting up for a couple minutes, I usually leave my sling off and cradle my arm to me like a very short, unfeathered, pink T-rex.

I can’t really claim all that much is going on with me. I haven’t done a lot of writing, just a few paragraphs here and there. Anytime I go to sit down to write, I’m either too tired or not motivated enough to do all that much. After just a few minutes I hit a wall and find myself staring at a mocking page, laughing at me and doing a hateful writer’s block dance. I would love nothing more than to reach through my computer and strangle the everliving crap out of it. Alas, I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to strangle an anthropomorphic metaphor, but I’d have to ask a scientist to be sure about that. 

No writing excerpts today, Nick is currently in Spain doing some sort of demonic hell race, probably with bulls in it, so I haven’t seen him this week. But if I can manage to defeat, or at least stave off, my writer’s block, then I might have something for you next update. No promises though, I hate to make a promise and not keep it. Your word is important after all. Right blog? Hm, still no answer. I guess the blog isn’t self-aware yet.

Run Nick RUN! (Not actually Nick)

Ciao blog and readers of blog.

Your insomniac updater,

Andrew

Recovering Surgery-holic

Blog!!

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you blog and/or readers, things have been predictably chaotic since the surgery and typing is still a pain as I'm mostly restricted to one hand (my left) at the moment. However, I do have that update I promised you, albeit a couple weeks later than it should be. 

Look at how happy she is to be in this sling with
her little squeezy ball! Everyone who undergoes
major shoulder surgery is THIS happy! :D ...

I am now on the other side of my seventh joint replacement surgery (I had to do my left hip twice due to a massive infection, fun times, and I did both of my ankles at the same time so you can kind of count it as one surgery. Either seven or eight surgeries/joints replaced based on how you want to count it. Your choice). I'm hoping that if I do enough of these I'll get the next one free, like one of those punchcards you get "Buy 7, get the 8th free!!", that sort of thing (Surgery Punchcards need to be a thing). Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that my surgery went well and I actually went home the very next day. The surgery took an extra hour due to the complexity of the joint issues, but the doctor says it went well and everything is looking good so far. The pain hasn't been as bad as it was with the other surgeries, but it is a bit more difficult in other aspects, such as typing, which is difficult, but at least manageable for the time being. It looks like I'll be in this highly restrictive sling (complete with squeezy ball and velcro pouch for said squeezy ball) for 6 weeks but I am able to read and do a lot of things on my own, although there are still a lot of things I need help with, but I'm trying to keep as independent as I can manage. 

I saw my doctor earlier a week ago and he thinks everything is mostly looking well, although the shoulder muscles are much tighter than usual after this kind of surgery because of how long I had the problem before I got it fixed. This means I'm probably not looking at full range of motion once I'm fully healed but I'm just shooting for some increase and no more pain, and the doctor thinks that is manageable. I've been doing more exercises to build up my strength and trying to find a good balance between progress and pain, which is somewhat frustrating but not at all unexpected. However there is improvement on a day to day basis and I'm going to go for the silver lining as I know that is always the best way to handle these these things and indeed just about anything in life. 

I haven't been able to do any writing yet but I'm going to do some experimentation on using both hands for typing soon and if I can manage that then I see no reason why I can't get back into writing again and finish my rough draft. I did manage a short writing exercise yesterday with Nick, who came over to hang out and discuss the book stuff, so that's promising progress. 

This exercise is based on a Cragslist ad under "Missed Connections"

An Apology Next to the Graveyard

Susan plopped down next to the worn down gravestone, the early morning dew dampening the underside of her jeans, cool compressed grass flattening under her thin frame. She didn’t mind the wetness, she didn’t mind anything anymore, she had gone numb from the pain. “I’m sorry I didn’t show up when I said I would,” she said to the air, a couple early birds chirping back in response. “I’m sorry that I wussed out.”

She drew her finger absently through the air, swishing through the dense fog like a lazy leaf across a pond, disturbing the tranquil surface without a thought. A couple sparks leapt off her fingertip and dissipated into nothingness. There was a faint creaking noise at her side, seemingly from beneath her, about six feet down. “I just can’t be near you and not have you forever. However long that might be for us. Could be a while, knowing you, knowing me. Do you know where I’ve been? Across the country, wandering town-to-town trying to forget, to move on. I can’t, you have me in your spell. Ironic, isn’t it?”

A muffled groan seeped up through the soil and Susan patted the unkempt patch of grass above the burial site. “ Sorry, I know you are going through a tough time right now Bartholomew. So I won’t bore you with the nonsense. When you want me all to yourself then I will show up again.” Susan pushed herself off the ground and brushed at the seat of her pants, flicking a couple attached dewdrops to the ground with their brethren. “As of now, I feel it’s only for your gain and my detriment. I know they all want to keep you, and to bring you back would just…it would be for my detriment, you understand.” She sighed and brushed a stray strand of pure white hair back from her smooth, unblemished forehead, her gray eyes glazed with unshed tears. “ It kills me to always feel like something is missing and its you. I can’t keep bleeding like this.” She pressed her hands to her chest and traced the scar under her sweater where once a heart had beat. “I just can’t. I’m so sorry. Maybe in another century Bart, but not now.”

A weight felt lifted from her chest as she left the graveyard, unspoken words of a hundred years finally let loose into the air. She would return, as she always did, but now she at least got her say and it felt good. Behind her, a faint, sad, desperate scratching noise started up for a few moments, then went silent. 

All right, that's about all, my arm's giving me a warning that I should be finishing up soon and I'm supposed to listen to it, so I will. 

I'll do updates as they're necessary for new information, but hopefully this will be a boring recovery. There's very rarely anything good about an eventful recovery. 

Ciao blog and the people who look at it with at least one eye. 

Your hobbled, temporarily one-armed creator,

Andrew